Happy weekend!

Finally, after what feels like the busiest, most stressful week ever, we've reached another weekend. Unfortunately for me, my weekend will be just as stressful as the week previous; not only am i working both nights and hitting the gym for some serious working out (all in preparation for a lovely weekend with my sort-of-not-really-boyfriend next weekend), I'm also working on a few articles to send to one of my potential universities. Here are a few things I wish i was doing this weekend:

1)Shopping- Every girl loves to shop no matter what the occasion or the weather. I'm not bothered if i'm buying shoes, bags, jewellery, dresses or underwear, i just love having new things. It sounds very shallow and material, but there is something about shopping and holding something pretty and new in my hands that gets my heart racing. Maybe even more than a boy!

2)Drinking cocktails- Probably in my list of top five favourite things to do, if i could drink cocktails all day every day (given that I have the finances and didn't get obese from it) I probably would. I love so many cocktails and they're perfect for every occasion. Whether it's a romantic date or a night with the girls, celebratory drinks or a wedding, they're just so divine. My favourite place in my hometown is probably this little, chic vodka bar which does the best cocktails ever. i'm planning on writing more about that and my favourite cocktails later, keep your eyes pealed.

3)Hanging out with my girls-I think this is just 

obvious, what girl doesn't want to spend time surrounded by her girls? The brilliant thing is we can be doing absolutely nothing and still have a fabulous time being stupid and girly. It pains me even more because one of my best friends has just texted me asking to hang out tonight and I've had to turn her town because of my looming five hour shift! ew!

4)Partying- Partying is the best. Getting to dance and have fun, meet up with old friends and new friends. Just generally have a ball, the way I normally spend my Saturday nights! (when i have the money anyway)

5)Seeing my boy-I hate smushy couple stuff, I'm the first to cringe when it comes to couples parading their relationship all over and kissing in public, but i wouldn't mind seeing him right about now. Not long until next weekend when i go to Leeds to visit him. The thought of next weekend with him will be the only thing motivating me through my ten hours at work this weekend, working my butt off at the gym and the week ahead of me. Aw young love.... 

xox

Body dysmorphia: my new best friend

With the introduction of fashion forward Gok Wan’s latest television show ‘Gok’s Teens: the naked truth’ taking over many of the adverts on my television, I was encouraged, not only to investigate this show myself (at least the first episode of) but also to think about many of the issues he brought up. One main thing which Gok discussed was the dysmorphic view teens of today seem to take towards our bodies. With the constant display of seemingly perfect bodies, skin and features surrounding us in the media, as well as the constant façade of beauty on social networking sites, it seems that for the modern day teenager there is no way of escaping. Yes, I am the first to hold up my hands and complain when people blame the media for every single eating disorder victim, but at the same time, I can’t help but agree slightly. While the press tend to point the finger at catwalk models, magazine edits and pro-anorexia blogs, I’ve found that for me these aren’t the only catalysts to my desire for so called perfection.

Social networking sites were introduced to the Internet as a way of networking with people from school, work and college, as well as a useful way of interacting with friends from the past. However it seems that, from an inside perspective and being a teen myself, I can also see the dark side. Not only is there the fear of cyber bullying in the form of status’ and wall posts, comments and messages, but there is also the need to compare your own pictures with other peoples. Technology in the modern age allows us the capability to modify and edit our own pictures to a degree of surreal ‘perfection’ in a way that, while may be aesthetically pleasing, can also be damaging to self-esteem.

I find myself looking at pictures of girls who live near to me, and comparing my own features to theirs, why does my hair not look like theirs? Why do I not have as pretty a face as theirs? Why do 70 people ‘like’ their picture and only 5 ‘like’ mine? And above all, why do I not look as skinny as them?

It does sound stupid really, that such a trivial thing that is supposed to be a way of building relationships and communicating can have such a negative impact on my life. However the realisation of how I feel with regards to such things shows me that surely I’m not the only one. And looking at how much make-up, how obviously edited and how hard these girls who I call my ‘friends’ try to look good enough just for ‘likes’ is only one indication of how much society depends on appearance.

Yes, the media and constant bravado surrounding size zero models and editing on double page spreads in celebrity magazines certainly don’t help the rapidly plummeting self-esteem of both teenage girls and boys, but I think that’s social networking sites should also take some of the blame. That normal, everyday teenagers can also have an impact on each others lives. 

xox

You learn something new every day!

I’ve learnt a few things recently, especially since the beginning of 2012 that appear to be making 2012 start off brilliantly (lets hope this doesn’t jinx things!)

1) you never know whats around the corner. I mean that in the most serious of ways. The most unexpected things can happen to you every day, things you’d never even dream of, things you wouldn’t dare to dream of because you had so little expectation in them

2)You should never give up hope because no matter what if you put your heart into something you have the capability to acheive it- even if it seems like an impossible task (it probably isn’t!)

3)Money doesn’t buy happiness (but it does buy amazing shoes)

4)You never know who you can trust, admittedly, but it’s amazing realising exactly who you can trust and who will always be there for you. Having a solid group of friends around you who can provide fun when it’s necessary and serious when it’s necessary is the bets thing ever. Loosing friends isn’t always a bad thing, it doesn’t always result in an argument or a falling out, sometimes drifting apart just reveals exactly who you need. I just hope i stay in contact with the wonderful people in my life (I’m sure i will)

5)No doubt are just as amazing as they were in the 90s!

Home from the city so nice they named it twice!

I came home from the big city last thursday and i think i've been in a state of mourning ever since; everything here at home seems too small! Where the heck are the sky scrapers when you need them? Honestly New york was one of the most amazing, surreal experiences of my life and I feel so privileged to have had the chance to ever have been there. The fact that people actually live there and don't bat an eyelid at the amazing views that surround them on a daily basis is unreal. It is like being in a movie.  Typically we did all the basic tourist things: the statue of liberty, the empire state building (the view is even better than any pictures i've ever seen), 5th avenue, central park, ground zero (shed a couple of tears, how could i not? Such a sentimental place!) and all the rest of it... As well as a tonne of shopping, though not as much as I would have liked to have done I have to admit. And ate like a true American, I put on about five hundred stone by feasting on burgers, chips, donuts and candy- but like they say, 'when in rome....' Obviously, i could go on all day about how amazing it was and list everything I did there in detail, but it would be most likely the most boring thing anyone has ever written. So instead i'm leaving it up to the art of photography to try and tell at least half of my story! 

I think i'd give almost anything to go back again and really can't wait for the opportunity to crop up again. Such an amazing and breathtaking experience from start to finish; if you ever get the chance to visit the big apple- do it!

xox

Damn Delays!

With another two hours to kill before I can even reboard my plane it seems like I may as well check in, since I haven't bothered with an update in quite a while. Today has been, potentially, the most hectic day of my life. Force to wake up at  5.00am to catch a connection flight to Heathrow only to get here and have my flight delayed (of course only after boarding and sitting on the plane itself for two hours) for a further three hours. Honestly so bored of being in the first class lounge already, and with alcohol and food in abudance I don't think I ever imagined myself saying that. It sucks because  originally set to arrive in the big apple at about 4.00pm, I'm now being forced to sacrifice my first afternoon and a potential meal, due to now arriving at 9.00pm. On the plus side, I'm pretty sure it's the city that never sleeps, so something is bound to be going down. Started the day off with a champagne breakfast so you can't really complain- hopefully I'll arive in New York safe, sound and in one piece soon!

My eighteenth went off with a sparkling bang too which was nice, appart from occasional drunken girly banter which always seems to be the problem when certain members of my friends are involved- won't waste letters typing about it though. And the most ironic part of my whole birthday was that I may as well have not turned 18, still haven't been ID'd yet (bar me demanding the bouncer outside of Revolution ID me, as when I went for my first legal cocktails at 1.00pm that day they didn't even bat an eyelid!). Hopefully my eighteenth year is going to be my best yet with minial drama and maximum success (and cocktails and glitter), and hopefully my love life will stay as fab as it is being now, if not just continue to climb in awesomeness.

Can't wait to spend a ton of money, see a lot of awesome things and dance through the streets like a crazy person!
xox


p.s my iphone died and i packed my charger in my suitcase-typical

Who's eighteen?

I honestly can not believe that on friday i will be turning eighteen. I man of course i'll be sad to say goodbye to my childhood (not that I will suddenly become any less of a child than i currently am over night) but i am so excited to be saying hello to vodka in abudnance. And if the fact it's my birthday simply isn't exciting enough, by some stoke of luck I am surrounded by the coolest friends and family who are helping to make my celebrations the best yet. I have a little party at sixth form in the common room to look forward too- something that i can only imagine is going to be filled with embarrassing pictures of me in my youth, but also hopefully lots of cake (despite the fact I feel and probably look as though I have gained twenty stone since christmas i am still looking forward to devouring lots of sugar... because it's my birthday and you only turn eighteen once!). Then at one o clock (again by some luck which i can only thank God for i finish at 1 on a friday and my eighteenth just happens to have fallen on a friday!) me and my best and most amazing friend in the world are going to go to revolution for a cocktail lunch break. Can't even contain my excitement to go into my favourite bar ever and not lie to them about being twenty three. i plan on looking as young as I can and ordering as much vodka as I can, just for high-jinx. 

Then, on the evening I get to have an awesome gathering with my best friends, lots of drink and lots of super cute snacks ( cupcakes mainly). My mum really is amazing for letting us take over her house for a few hours, although she doesn't seem to mind, unless of course spillages occur and then i foresee everyone swiftly vacating the premises. Following that, as if it wasn't enough, we're heading off to digital for a night of getting a little crazy- but not too crazy. Though can you ever be too crazy? I'm eighteen for goodness sake!

I plan on waking up on saturday a shell of my former seventeen year old self, before recovering and blossoming in time to jet off to New York and live like the sex in the city girls for five days with my fabulous mum. 

Soooo excited! 

xox

I always want to fully master the art of beautiful flicks on your eyes, a kind of sixties chic which I love, and yet never seem to be able to pull off. This picture seems perfect, I can only hope that I can attempt to  follow its instructions in order to perfect my sixties flicks. I work with a girl who always has the most beautiful eye make up, and even when she goes for a more 'natural' look she still includes these flicks with a nude eyeshadow. It always adds a glamourous edge to her look and i always ask her how she does it, managing to not only make her flicks perfect and smudge free, but also manages to have both eyes even. Honestly I think the art of movie star worthy makeup is something I'm never going to perfect!

I go to New york in 19 days and i couldn't be more stoked! 

My Personal Mission Statement

So, i was checking up on one of my favourite bloggers Gala (check out her blog @galadarling.com, it's super cute and pink.. and she has awesome pink hair and if you know me at all, you'll know how i feel about those who are fantastic enough to pull off pink hair) and i saw that she was talking about a personal mission statement. Its essentially a little (or long) statement which helps you organise what you plan to with your year, as well as being a guiding force behind any bad descisions. I deffinately need one this year, just to help me make it through 2012 alive, without too my scratches ( except the good kind). So, with thanks to Gala for the inspiration and all...

“A personal mission statement becomes the DNA for every other decision we make.” (Stephen Covey)

She left some questions to guide, talking about when you're at your best and worst, which i've tried to sum up.... 
I am at my best when I am surrounded by people i love, doing things I love, wearing leopard print shoes and drinking purple rain cocktails. I am at my worst when I am stuck in my bedroom, revising subjects i don't care a great deal for and arguing with my mother. At work, if you're talking about my actual place of work, the only thing i really love is talking to Evan, even though he's just some weird kid who helps make the desserts. He just brightens my day. If you mean at sixth form, I really love learning something new, not just the same old crap every day. I like being enlightened and reading good books. outside of work, I really love getting drunk and having fun and flailing with my best friends. Which all sounds very unproductive and cliché, especially when you consider in that time i probably make some moves that I grow to regret. I love shopping too, buying things that sparkle, god this is really embarassing... I sound like such a bog standard girl. I make myself sick.. I'm already starting to regret writing this mission statement thing!  My natural talents and gifts? Lets think, I'm pretty good at writing, I mean this blog probably isn't the best representation of that... but i actually am. It's always been the only thing i've gotten any acknowledgment for at school. I used to be good at drawing too, but i don't really have the time for it anymore. I might start making more time for it. I take a lot of photographs too, i try to be artsy, i'm not very good at being artsy though... maybe i don't have any talents... now i'm just depressed. If i had unlimited time and resources and knew i could not fail i would travel the world, and i would be a freelance journalist who took her own photographs, and i would take photos of every beautiful thing i saw and i would surround myself with amazing people, who i loved, who loved me... So far, my lifes journey isn't too spectacular, though I have travelled alot and met some cool people and done some sick things, but it isn't over yet, it's only just begun, so i don't want to dwell on that too much. On my 80th birthday, if the people who spoke of me only knew me for the past 18 years they'd probably talk bullshit because thats what people dos. I mean, you never hear someone saying 'oh yes, of course we love him but damn that kid is a dick, he strats fights with everyone and is in way too much drug debt...' no... I think people would say I dye my hair too much and overthink everything... but i have a big heart. I think they'd say i was at my best covered in glitter!.. i'm bored of these questions already


But this year, my mission is to pass all my exams, to spend all my time with people who make me smile, and hopefully who i make smile in return. I plan to be comfortable with myself in every way, to travel and to see beautiful things. I plan to love and be loved by as many people as possible and to take as many pictures of beautiful things as i can...
And to have a fucking good time!

xox

In the words of Summer

I, like being on my own. I think relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We’re young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun while we can and, save the serious stuff for later.

xox

Happy 2012!

So we are officially in 2012 and i'm pretty sure we haven't died yet. Last night on the walk home from town with my best friend, i gave her one of my infamous life talks, where (when sustantially messy on whatever substance has came my way) I find out the meaning of life and tell her. See, what gets me is everyone spent the night expecting anarchy at midnight, like as though an asteroid was just gunna drop from the sky and land smack bang in the middle of independent (this grotty nightclub that, despite smelling of piss, sweat and cannabis, we all still insist on dragging ourselves to every week). But what they don't relsise is I feel like some kind of voice of wisdom, or some kind of authority. You see, i do christian theology A level; now i'm not here to preach and tell you that my religion is right, but it talks some sense. 'man does not know the day or hour'... how the fuck can you expect the world to end at some designated hour if every single holy book or religious artifact states something along those lines. i dunno, it just gets me. And, if you're guna go with the whole mayan calander '2012' movie scenario, thats due to hit us in December anyway. i don't even think I have a point.. but I'm deff going to make the most of this year if we are to expect impending doom (kinda praying that it's bullshit though, i quite like my lfie here thanks).
I just hope 2012 continues being as good and as messy as 2011 ended, 'cause I think things might finally start to be picking up for me. Happy new year; please enjoy some pictures of my favourite people in the world (except the one with pink hair... don't even know who she is?!)

siiiiicccckkkk

i think i'm addicted to christmas

Christmas never used to be my favourite time of year, I always claimed to love summer way more and resented the cold. I mean, no one likes wearing a ton of layers, getting frostbite every time
you open the front door and having to wear twenty pairs of socks every time it decides to snow, just to keep your feet dry.... or do they? As a little kid i obviously loved christmas and the magic of it, but getting older just seems to suck all the magic out of the festive season! Well, that all seems to have changed this christmas. I'm absolutely loving wrapping up and embracing the cold, and i honestly can't wait for it to snow. So far i'm pretty gutted that we've only had one snowfall (and i don't even think that counts since it melted within an hour). I just seem to love everything about christmas this year, everyone seems to be so much happier and you can't beat the ambiance that comes with buying little gifts for everyone.
Also can't help but get my camera out at every occasion, so enjoy some pictures of my mum's prized christmas lights and tree.


xox

Life is simple

I found this picture earlier while lurking about on a friend of a friend's blog (tumblr to be exact if we're going to name drop websites) and I couldn't agree more with it. We all spend way too much time worrying about the little things in life that, in the long run, are totally unimportant. Like how much our weight is fluctuating, or if our hair looks good today, or heaven forbid the people in the street don't like the new shoes you bought last weekend, even though you'd had your heart set on them for about three months. In my case, worrying about everyone else's opinion, over analysing their reactions to what I say and do, is my biggest problem. You can ask anyone and they'll tell you that. I seem to spend more of my time weighing up the pros and cons of how people will react to what I do (be it buying a new pair of shoes, changing my hair cut, or kissing the guy I've liked for months) because I'm terrified their reaction will deem me unacceptable in society. When you think about it though it's a stupid notion! Why on earth should I care what other people think? As long as I'm happy that's all that matters, right? And it should be the same for everyone! Yet in the society we live in now it seems none of us are as free to look and act as we might like, even if the law is allowing of it: it seems we are held back from our liberties as individuals by our own, irrational fear of rejection. It's pathetic really, and I'm going to try my hardest from today to live life as simple. After all, life should be about one thing for everyone: happiness for all.
xox

story of my life...

xox

Why are skater boys so hot?

Why are skater boys so darn hot? It's something I've been asking myself for years. Ever since I found myself age thirteen an wearing the tightest black skinny jeans I could find (it was a phase.. admittedly 'emo' was not my best fashion decision but thankfully I grew out of it) I've been wondering why. Years on from my somewhat 'darker' days and I still find myself weirdly attracted to the dudes who ride on four wheels as opposed to waling on two legs. Inspired by my current crush (sssh!) and a hilarious ask I found on yahoo the other day, I compiled  short list:

1)Good hair-Yep, some of the ones I scoped out needed a little help when it came to actually styling what they have, but underneath that unwashed mass I'm sure something could be resurrected. In the main though, they seem to have it down.

2)Awesome hats- If there is one thing I love about boys, it's a boy who can wear an awesome hat and pull it off well. The amount of guys who skate that I know, who seem to have a collection of the coolest hats known to man is unreal. Surly dating one means the privilege of sharing the hat fest?

3)Vans!- another fetish of mine has to be vans, I don't care if they're authentic, low pro or high top. I don't even care if they are male or female vans; I just freakin' love them! I bought a pair of slip-ons when I was about 14 and now they're so loved (yes, loved) they actually have holes in the soles and I'm not giving up on them yet!

4)Duuuude- the guys I know who skate just see to have their own dialect. This slow cool drawl with a selection of 'black' lexis thrown in there which they can actually pull off without looking like douches. Yeah it could be something to do with the copious amounts of cannabis they smoke... but even so it makes me weak at the knees.

5) Boarding- lets face it, four wheels really are cooler than two legs. Have you seen those guys do tricks? They blow me away. And a guy who boards can meet you for a date at least half the time quicker than a boy who has to walk to meet you ;)

28th November 2011

I am so over it being winter right now, I can't even describe how ill I am. I had to send myself home from sixth form today, the thought of sitting through three more hours of lessons, freezing cold and feeling physically drained made me want to cry. I planned to come home and work from my bed, but naturally I ended up spending three hours watching videos of guys skating. I don't even understand how or why i have suddenly become obsessed with skaters.....

On the up side I have a sick new vest, can't decide if it's too gangsta for me or not though...

19th November 2011

Honestly think I've had the most stressful day ever and I've only been awake about three hours, so that's definitely a new record. The funny thing is, it’s all down to Christmas presents; my own Christmas presents too! I went shopping with my dad to buy a new laptop, initially with the aim of getting a beautiful Macbook. I always knew they were overpriced, but they’re just too beautiful not to want! As soon as I walked into the store, the Macbook pros gleamed from their apple stand, glowing like little electronic angels. There’s just something about them, I don’t know if it’s their HD screen or smooth finish, or even if it’s just the little apple emblem; I found myself almost drooling over them. Of course, something so amazing doesn’t come without its disadvantages though, nothing is ever perfect! “We start at around £999”... brilliant, as soon as the first figure left the shop assistants mouth I knew I was doomed. There is no way my dad is going to be willing to fork out a grand (or there about) for a laptop he will probably only see the once. He could go on holiday for that price tag. With a heavy heart I found myself being lead to the “just as good for half the price” laptops”. Save me your excuses Mr shop assistant! I came here for a Macbook and I don’t want to leave without one... even if I have to stay in store for the next five years to save up.
I do know that there are cheaper laptops out there whose internals are just as good (take the Samsung the young boy attempted to show me with 2GB more memory than a Macbook pro and the same hard drive), who are equally as lightweight and who even share the same graphics with the little apple angels; but they just aren’t Macbooks. I tried to convince my dad, I tried to think up a plan in which I could save up £500 and pay half, but unless I become a go-go dancer or win the lottery within the next three weeks, I don’t think I’m going to be unwrapping anything quite as sweet as an apple Macbook this Christmas.